Total BS

My job consists on everyone in the office to rely on me. That's great in the sense that I feel needed and worth something.

However, when it gets down to "Will you dial the phone for me? Jess, could you go to the next room to get my iPhone? JJ, could you wipe my ass for me?" That's it!

It's bad enough everyone is so dependent on me, but when I can't go to the bathroom because no one is willing to turn around and cover me for a minute, forget it. I'm going to blow a fuse!

I was able to get out of the office on Tuesday for a huge shoot. It was amazing, so much fun, I was there with fun people, and people I actually know! I made the mistake of going back to the office when we were done at 4p, you know, just to check my email, and then go home.

Big mistake! I had to pick up all the pieces my interns left for me. And then I was made to feel guilty for leaving the office like I wasn't doing my job. Everyone here gets a little leeway in when they come in, as long as their work gets done, but I am chained to this title.

What put me over the edge today was that even though the person who helps me with phones, wasn't in, there were like 10 people who could have helped me. I do everything for these people and they cant fucking answer the phone for the 2 minutes while I take a piss! They're all so selfish and can't lift a fucking finger. I'm so fed up, and I'm PMSing!

It's been a stressful week, and I've lost it on several occasions. I don't hate my job or the people, but when they don't think about the things they do or say, it bothers me to the core.

Oh, and I'll be in the office on Sunday the whole day. It's a shoot and I don't have to do much. I get a free lunch and a hundred bucks, so I'm trying not to complain!

Birthdays at Work

I hate them.

Absolutely hate them.

Here's how it goes. I'm the one who has to organize them, and of course not everyone tells me when their birthday is, so sometimes we'll have a big thing for one person and somebody complains later that they didn't have a celebration on their birthday.

Usually it's a chaotic dash to whatever bakery is closest or cheapest or takes Amex. Then it's all about the planning, what time should we do it? When everyone is not working? That will never happen! So someone is always left out of that.

Luckily we have two offices so we can hide the cake in one while we distract the unsuspecting victim. But the gathering of two offices is so ridiculous!

Today was an independent editor's birthday, who has been editing for a good 3 months straight, coming in at noonish working til 5 in the morning. He spent his summer shooting in Lithuania and Poland. He has a deadline for the end of this month and said he wasn't doing anything for his birthday. Boo hoo, any excuse for office cake, we'll take it!

I had an anxiety attack trying to get the two offices together (no one from the other office ever gets there on time even though it's one floor away and I give them several reminders: We're celebrating a birthday in an hour! Festivities in 20! Everyone be down here in 10 min! Cake in 5 people!)

Then it's the timing. And the editor today was pushing it! He kept coming out at random times and I didn't want him to ruin his own surprise! The guys were watching the Phillies game and he kept looking out to see the score, so I had to motion to people what to do, and everyone just stood there like "wah?"

Finally, got everyone rounded up, and had to make something up to tell the editor. "Hey, there are leftovers in the fridge, I don't know whose they are, can you come check?" He totally knew what was going on because he just smiled when I said this (I've said it many times before and he's given me attitude about them not being his leftovers).

There's always the awkward "Happy Birthday to Youuuuuu!" Anyone watch The Office? Hilarious! And then who cuts the cake? In this case, it was me. I'm not kidding, it was too much excitement for me! I was shaking! And flushed! Seems a bit dramatic, I know. But I hate being responsible for surprises, birthdays, or anything fun that later if it turns bad, people can blame on me! "We ruined the good surprise on YOU!" Anyone? Name that movie!

The good thing I've learned, if everything else sucks, you better have some damn good cake that trumps it all. Luckily I did! It was a Peanut Butter Cup cheesecake pie thing with bits of peanuts and caramel in hard crumb shell. Amazing! And people were thanking me more than saying Happy Birthday. Boo yeah!

I need to lie down.

Arrogant Little....!

All through college I dealt with pompous student filmmakers who always bent the rules and thought no consequences applied to them, because they were expressing themselves through the art of film.

Give me a break! It's all self-serving and obnoxious!

It gets worse when these attitudes approach the "real world", especially when they haven't even graduated, or left their comfy nest of self-absorption, and think that their third year thesis film is worth being put on imdb.com!

This is all true about a recent intern I had. He came in for only two days, for five hours each, and this is what he wrote to me:

Jessica -

I want to inform you that unfortunately I won't be able to continue my internship with The Station.

Based on my first week, I strongly feel that The Station is not the right fit for me. My point of taking an internship was to get an intensive first hand experience with a working production company. Unfortunately I don't feel like I was learning anything more than taking lunch orders and further did not see a future for me there.

There is nothing that needs to be done on your part. My school will take care of everything and allow me to change to a different company next week.

Thank you for understanding.

Best,

Now I know I have to be professional, but this is what I want to write:

Hi Joe,

I'm sorry you feel that way, and I'm disappointed that you didn't give us a real chance. Here at The Station, especially with an internship, we believe you need to earn the right to work on projects that are worth hundreds of thousands of dollars. With the small tasks we give the interns, we build up that privilege. I don't think 5 hours a day for 2 days a week is enough for anyone to get an intensive first hand experience. That's what an internship is, you have to take the bad with the good and learn from it. Unfortunately, commercial production is not a business for everyone. Good luck in finding something that fits your needs. Thank you for your time.

Jessica

I REEEEEALLLY want to be a bitch and knock this prick down a notch. But alas, I can't. I can send him bad vibes and hope someone else knocks him around a bit for me.

Bus Buddy

A few months ago I noticed this guy on my bus route, and it got to the point that we both frequented the same bus stop that we started talking. He was nice enough, but has this strange look about him. He seems a bit cold and abrupt when he talks, and he has a creepy wide eyed look, but he's also pretty young. I found out he was married, so I'm not worried that he's hitting on me...

I haven't seen him in a couple months, and it wasn't a big deal, but then today I saw him and we waited for the bus together. He usually gets off before me, but today he saw that he had already missed his train and decided to stay on. So we awkwardly sat next to each other for the whole ride and I felt obligated to come up with conversations. He doesn't continue them, so there were a lot of awkward silences.

On the subway we rode all the way in to the city, which takes about a half hour, just trying to come up with topics. I kept thinking, I shouldn't give this guy too much info on where I work or where I'm moving to or anything. But I guess stalkers have a way of finding that info out.

Am I just paranoid or should I be more cautious when talking to strangers?

Just something new

So I'm not traveling, my job isn't all too thrilling, but I like to talk about random things.

Things I do, things I see other people doing, things I hear about, things I want to try out.

I also like to ask questions and hear other people's answers.

I've had a couple diaries before, and I think I still have a blog from freshman year of college floating out there online. I hope to use this one to write down random thoughts I have, and start discussions with other people.

I'm tired of the same old "How are you?" "Good." Great.

Tell me something new!